Growing up I would crave the feeling of being loved. I remember going to various foster homes and immediately calling them mom or dad. (It’s weird now that I think about it.)
When I became an adult I looked for this idea of “Prince Charming.” Clearly, I was watching too many Disney films.
In the spirit of Valentine's Day, and I don’t mean the celebration of martyrdom from where it originates, I reflect on love.
What is love?
At times in my life I confused true love with the desire to be loved.
I remember being engaged (The first time that is. Three times total. What?!? I figured it out!) A person that was fine in general, but truly not for me. I could not be myself. Yet, I was so bent on having a family of my own, people to call my own and people to love on with everything I have.
I have always said to myself, “One day I will have a family of my own to love and to love me.”
As I sit here in the warmth of my living room, watching Somebody Feed Phil on Netflix I am content.
I have two beautiful girls who just helped daddy cook dinner sitting on the floor in my bedroom eating quesadillas, and watching some weird Disney Princess youtube channel.
I have an amazing husband of almost 7 years and friend of 22 years who made me ground beef quesadillas with cabbage. He makes me delicious homemade milk tea on request….I’m so spoiled.
I have a dog named...wait for it….Love! She has a lightly shaded heart on top of her head I'm not sure if the name came first or the heart on her head. #truestory Her name is well deserved.
I am reminded of the scriptures;
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
I Corinthians 13: 4-5
I’m still working on that last part. Kallven makes fun of me and says I never forget anything. It’s true. A blessing and a curse I guess. #elephantmemory
We have come a long way in our relationship. We want the next 3 years of marriage to be boring, hahaha.
We were just discussing how eventful our life has been together. From marriage, to babies, to hospitalizations. From fights about Halloween Candy, to home buying and a pandemic. We have been through many things and are stronger for it.
I remember praying to God on a specific night in despair, this was in 2010. I asked God to grant me a specific relationship with a person. You know what God said, he said NO!
God had something so much better planned for me and I couldn’t be happier.
I wish you a happy Valentine's Day.
Take it from someone who at one point considered herself, a discarded thing.
Love yourself, Love others and take it all in.
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